ohioisonfiire:

I’ve met some pricks in my time but you are the fucking cactus.

darrenstummy:

the more sexual and inappropriate you are with me the better we’ll get along

(Source: darrenstummy-moved)

gaymzee:

no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore

gnarly:

I would be a morning person, if morning happened around 1pm

zizino:

friend: u high?
me: *reacts 10 seconds later* the fuck? no bitch